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Lisa Kaiser

1 Month Ago

Best Detox

Hello everyone, hope your holiday was nice, but now it's time to detox for me. No, I'm talking about diet. Okay, but diet detox ideas are fine, so please share if you got a great plan that doesn't make you feel awful.

The detox I'm talking about is detoxing from toxic situations or people. How do you wash off the feeling that you are not respected or liked or something weighs heavy upon thee? How do you detox and unwind and forget negative influences.

I paint and walk away my troubles, but I want some more ideas. I have a few days off and I want to feel my best. Any ideas?

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Jeffery Johnson

1 Month Ago

Okay. My afternoon coffee has not kicked in yet. I could have swore you had written "Best Botox".

Jeffery Johnson | Photo Captures by Jeffery
http://www.PhotoCapturesbyJeffery.com

 

Janine Riley

1 Month Ago

Hi Lisa. Love the new image - you look like a warrior.

I mentally give myself an Academy award for putting up with it. or getting through it all.
There is something to be said for being " the bigger person" , it develops strength of character.
And, well,,, for the holidays it is a nice gift to give our family members - tolerance for those we wish we didn't have to deal with.


That, and a good scrubby sponge to slough it all away. and wine too. chocolate covered cherries help.

 

See My Photos

1 Month Ago

Walking or jogging alone has proved to be my best detox over the years! With no headphones or distractions.

 

David Bridburg

1 Month Ago

Lisa,

Now is when I feel a tad down and alone. The build up is over, the event is over, just back to working and doing.

I have gone back to a stricter diet this time before the New Year. Any diet worth doing is worth doing immediately. JMO

I think people will be people. I am not in a mood to take them too seriously. They do not need me that badly that I have to worry about them.

Dave

 

Lisa Kaiser

1 Month Ago

Hi Jeffrey, no one will believe this, but I have never done botox, I could use it though in a few places, but am completely okay with getting old. I'm allowing my frizzy grey hair to be what it is, my dry skin and nails to be just as they are and double chin and chipped tooth...it's all good. I'm done with trying to make any good impressions, that is for the young at heart for which I'm not.

Janine, and See My Photos (What's your name again?) I couldn't agree more. You must have read my mind, Janine, although I'm planning on cutting down on the sugar and chocolate.

Dave that is a great way of looking at things.

 

Jeffery Johnson

1 Month Ago

I haven't tried it myself. Not fond of needles. Happy with just having my daily dose of coffee. It helps keep me partially sane.

Jeffery Johnson | Photo Captures by Jeffery
http://www.PhotoCapturesbyJeffery.com

 

Roy Erickson

1 Month Ago

Walk away and don't look back. And don't tell anyone else, besides your mom perhaps, of your troubles or your despair - don't 'gossip' to your other friends. We don't need the negativity or disrespect in our lives - there are really good people out there - choose your friends carefully and let the friendship develop - don't just jump in without seeing how just how deep the water, or person is.

Moderation in all things - food, exercise, friends, and get lots of sleep.

Smile - be happy - be yourself at all times.

 

Lisa Kaiser

1 Month Ago

Jeffery, I think I drink at least a pot of coffee per day, then two cups of green tea, and then I eat the bag of green tea or the contents, and then one cup of hot chocolate and then the wine... no wonder I need to detox! All of that needs to be water.


Roy, that is the best advice yet. I especially love the one about gossip. It's so simple and yet hard to follow, and you're right; none of us needs negativity.

 

Peggy Collins

1 Month Ago

I listened to this podcast this afternoon. It's about trying not to complain. Not that I think you're complaining, but I think you might get something out of this: http://podcast.affordanything.com/109-create-a-complaint-free-world-will-bowen/

I really like Roy's advice.

I find it quite hard to rid my mind of negative influences of other people...probably why I'm a bit of a recluse! I used to have a terrible time winding down after selling my work at craft fairs. I'm glad I don't do it anymore.

Surrounding yourself with nature definitely helps but I know you already do that.

 

Jeffery Johnson

1 Month Ago

Wait.... Isn't coffee flavored water?

Jeffery Johnson | Photo Captures by Jeffery
http://www.PhotoCapturesbyJeffery.com

 

Marlene Burns

1 Month Ago

Lisa, why do you think we wouldn't believe that you haven't had botox?
I'm guessing most, if not everyone here has not.

To answer your question, I stay as far away from toxic people and situations as possible. I have never regretted cutting anyone or anything out of my life. You must take care of yourself, first and foremost. And no explanations or apologies...thinking out those conversations sucks the good energy right out of you!

 

Lisa Kaiser

1 Month Ago

Yes, Jeffrey, coffee, tea, hot choc and wine are flavored water. LOL.

Janine, I listened to a podcast just a minute ago and the doctor said that one should enjoy chocolate every day. Well, I do.

Can't wait to watch what you have shared Peggy. I'm like you, negative toxic people make me feel filthy and I need to be more like Marlene.

And Marlene, Marlene, Marlene...lol where I come from, maybe a woman in the workforce today, there is hardly one friend that hasn't had some sort of procedure and some of my friends start doing botox in their twenties to get larger lips and the like. They get beautiufl fake lashes too and beautiful hair extensions and even braces when they are fifty and sixty or seventy years of age.


I can't or don't afford it. And worse, I would rather not endure it. Several of my beautiful friends do botox or some injection into their lip area which looks really nice but after awhile their mouth area deflates and ends up looking worse for the wear...even more wrinkly! No thanks!

 
 

Marlene Burns

1 Month Ago

Oh, hon,
I think you'd be hard pressed to find many people on this forum botoxing....OR thinking that you don't.

 

Randy Pollard

1 Month Ago

Could do skin lifting in the new year and hot coffee.

 

Lutz Baar

1 Month Ago

Lisa, I find your comments in different kind of threads on this forum a kind of pro-active detox, spreading nice and tolerant athmosphere.

 

Mike Savad

1 Month Ago

i don't talk to people. in this environment as of late, there are some topics that are best to stay away from, so you don't get into them. or ignore them.


---Mike Savad
http://www.MikeSavad.com

 

Mike Savad

1 Month Ago

i don't do botox either, i just get bitten by snakes on a regular basis.


---Mike Savad
http://www.MikeSavad.com

 

Kathleen Bishop

1 Month Ago

Life is too short to subject yourself to toxic people. I've never been tolerant and am much less so now. I know that goes against the norm, because people are supposed to mellow out and become more tolerant with age. It's just the opposite with me, probably because I'm still angry with myself for being passive in the past rather than taking a stand.

I'm ashamed to admit that in my younger days there were times that I ate it. Didn't happen often because I nearly always chose to take a hit rather than compromise myself, but I did make nice with deplorable people who could get me what I thought I needed, or who could make my life more miserable if I didn't kiss butt. It sickened my soul. I can't go back and change that but I can change myself.

It's not a luxury to cut bad people out of my life, it's a necessity. I don't care who they are or what power they hold. If they are foul, or if they've perpetuated evil by enabling or abetting others either willfully or through gross ignorance, they do not get a pass. As Roy said, "Walk away and don't look back." I've never regretted cleansing myself of anyone I find despicable.

 

David Bridburg

1 Month Ago

Standing and raising my hand sheepishly, "I have a problem, I have done too much botox".


LOL

Not signed

 

Roger Swezey

1 Month Ago

Lisa,

Spoil Yourself

A day at a spa

or a simple massage

or just having your nails done

And keep telling yourself. "I deserve it"

 

Travel Pics

1 Month Ago

There is nothing negative when we stay positive.

◕‿◕

Michel
https://photos.travelnotes.org/

 

Lisa Kaiser

1 Month Ago

David, lol.

Kathleen, as usual, you are a cage rattler or your comment is food for thought. I have a close friend who I would define as very intolerant, and I think I'm the only person who adores her, besides her family. She puts up with zero and why that makes me smile is anyone's guess because she is very difficult to deal with...for other people.

When you talk of your younger days, I completely relate and in many ways I have been and still am a friend to an enemy or two or three or 500. And as a result, I may take to some darker practices while remaining stoic and even kind to my enemies. I never feel entirely phony because even as we exchange enemy smiles at one another (my friends and family that I don't like and vice versa) the darker practices such as diplomacy, phony small talk and gossip help us groom each other for a day without conflict.

I don't honestly know if that is good or awful.

Anyway, your comments are very interesting, Kathleen. Thank you for sharing. I bet you'll live a long life.

Roger, awesome sauce idea!

.

 

Lisa Kaiser

1 Month Ago

Michel, I am a yin/yang sort of person where a balance of good/bad, light/dark, positive/negative and other contrasting conceptual ideas work for me. I won't squelch the negative because I think all my feelings are valid... but maybe not.

I do have a friend that practices positive thought as a sort of ritual and she appears to have a lot of stress.

 

Janine Riley

1 Month Ago

' Tis true Lisa , I also get some kind of perverse pleasure out of being polite to those people that I do not like.
Perhaps it was the way we were raised.
Doesn't necessarily mean I put up with any crap.... I've also lived long enough to see that people will become their own demise.

Just had my chocolate with breakfast.
Those dark chocolate Orange slices : ) . shall we pretend that there was a daily dose of vitamin C in them ?

Dark chocolate replaces the need for Botox.
May not actually improve the skin, but it keeps the attitude perky .

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Marlene Burns

1 Month Ago

Iris,
Her demands will escalate for as long as she has enablers who will put up with it.
Stop putting up with it. period.
When she calls to ask where her invite is next year, be honest.
She outwore her welcome with her outrageous demands...and if that's a problem for your husband, then let him deal with her.....as he should have been all this time.

I had a more passive aggressive MIL. First brunch at our home, she showed an hour late...only the souffle was ready on time....When she made a face at the collapsed souffle, I assured her that it looked lovely an hour earlier and that I'd make a mental note not to ever make one for them again.

Don't be a doormat. I'm sorry that they are your in-laws but I'm sorrier that your husband doesn't defend his wife.

 

Iris Richardson

1 Month Ago

Thanks Marlena you are so right. I grow up in a toxic household and did not want to be the DIL to be nasty. I have put up long enough and not gotten support. My husband was informed I am not entertaining them again. If they where at least good grandparents I think I would perhaps justify their behavior.
I think the husband thing is what upsets me most. If he had to take sides he should be on mine. After all I fulfilled my side of the contract making a lovely meal.

 

David Bridburg

1 Month Ago

Iris,

I could tell some version of the husband not standing up for his wife several times over in different patterns.

One of them from a far more fouled up family. A friend of mine was married to a woman I never met. They were divorced. His family according to him never accepted his wife. It was agony for him. After the divorce his step brother married her. I am not kidding at all. The first thing the step brother did was tell his parents either you accept her and I or you hit the road. You know what, they accepted her and him together and were very friendly towards the new couple.

Dave

 

Peggy Collins

1 Month Ago

Do you think you may be an empath, Lisa? Coincidentally, I looked up the definition yesterday. Here's an interesting article about the difference between highly sensitive people and empaths: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-empaths-survival-guide/201706/the-differences-between-highly-sensitive-people-and-empaths . One sentence jumped out at me after reading how you reacted to hospitals: "And so we energetically internalize the feelings and pain of others — and often have trouble distinguishing someone else’s discomfort from our own."

 

Marlene Burns

1 Month Ago

Iris,
His parents disrespect you and he does also...apples don't fall far from the tree. His disrespect is more subtle than theirs but it's what he grew up with, what he knows.
Nothing will change except your attitude and behavior toward it. Hopefully, your relationship with him will outlive your relationship with them.
Make changes now to whip him in shape.

 

David Bridburg

1 Month Ago

On my dad's side of the family, his much older brother wanted to marry two Catholic women at different points in time. My grandparents put and end to that each time. My father met my mother and after they had dated for two years, they married. My dad put it to them he was going with her and they'd better accept that or be gone. They loved my mother. The moment the marriage had taken place they wrote a beautiful letter accepting her into the family. My uncle was very upset at the time. He really did not know what to do with himself.

Dave

 

Roger Swezey

1 Month Ago

David,

My father was one of seven "Boys"

My grandmother always claimed that my uncle Arthur was only one that married an American, a Protestant

All the rest married Catholics

 

Raymond Alvarez

1 Month Ago

Painting is a refuge from the oppressive goings-on of the world. When an element in that world singles you out for its toxic spewing, retreat seems the best option. Eventually the toxic people realize the world has migrated elsewhere. Their world is likely populated by abusers and opportunists. My wife was finally able to extract herself from a toxic work environment and I applaud her move. That environment seems to be caving in on itself. Maybe a coincidence, maybe not. Time washes away the memories and sting of dealing with the toxic. Hot coffee and a listener are godsend. Best of luck.

 

David Bridburg

1 Month Ago

Roger,

At that time those were mixed marriages.

smh

Dave

 

Lisa Kaiser

1 Month Ago

Drew, Peggy and Genevieve, thank you for your interesting response to my problem. I believe I'm an empath. Drew, you are correct that people want to take advantage of empathetic people, but I'm pretty good at protecting myself from manipulators. My problem is exactly as you say, the toxin is the manipulators from which I'm attempting to protect myself from. While my dad lies dying, the manipulators have come out of the wood work so I'm taking your advice.

Peggy, I'm definitely an empath, too many stories to tell, but in short, I feel what others are feeling as if the feelings were my own. It's too much for me to be in a huge crowd and it takes a lot of hours for me to relax if I've been at a gathering. I walk everyday and that helps a lot.

Iris, thank you for sharing your concerns with us and Marlene and others, thank you for all the creative ideas on how to handle difficult people.

I'll keep this thread going a little longer.

Genevieve, I always treat myself as if I am the best. I'll try to do even better this next year.

Here is to all of us a healthier prosperous 2018.

 

I Never see family at Christmas. Never. I will see them in the new year.

I do not see the point of being in someone's company at an already stressful time financially.

When I do go stay with family, I book into a hotel. I have fun with them and then go pamper myself in the evening. They're happy. I'm happy.

They now do it when they come to me and, if they cannot afford it, I help out with the hotel fee. ANYTHING to have peace and quiet to get prepared for the next day.

I asked myself the same questions Dan just asked....years ago.... Came to the conclusion that no, I would not be friends with half, so cut ties. Now I only have people in my life I can appreciate and love being around. Life is way too short for toxic environments.

 

David Bridburg

1 Month Ago

On some levels my family takes being together for granted.

I called my parents and sisters for New Years. One of my sisters I told her that I "enjoyed Christmas with you". She was taken aback for a moment. She wanted to respond in kind, but that was not the point. The point was to reach her. Not that I need to, but that she hosted a busy Christmas Eve party and did not have time to see how it impacted me.

Dave

 

Iris Richardson

1 Month Ago

Dave your story is sad and powerful. I feel sorry for your uncle but not sorry enough because he allowed the woman he claimed to love to suffer and take second place.

 

Afterthought Studio

1 Month Ago

There is this "no religion, no politics" rule in the forum, which makes it hard to address many issues in depth, since the way we interact with the world and with people in it is influenced by worldviews, and those worldviews have crystalized around a particular faith or ideology.

 

Drew

1 Month Ago

"There is this "no religion, no politics" rule in the forum, which makes it hard to address many issues in depth, since the way we interact with the world and with people in it is influenced by worldviews, and those worldviews have crystalized around a particular faith or ideology."

By claiming you can't talk about religion or politics is talking about religion and politics.

 

David King

1 Month Ago

"which makes it hard to address many issues in depth"

Problem is "address issues in depth" just ends up becoming a big argument degenerating into shouting and name calling. Humans have the tendency to get way too wrapped up in their own identity and "worldview" and can't see the forest for the trees.

I for one am very grateful that FAA does not allow the "discussion" of politics or religion here, there's way too much of that everywhere else, plenty of other places to go to for that if that's what you want.

 

I think MANY issues are discussed here, in depth. There is no need at all for the others.

 

Lisa Kaiser

1 Month Ago

I don't see a need for religion here either, detoxing has zero to do with religion, it's just a way to take away stress and protect oneself from environmental, as well as emotional toxins.

 

Peggy Collins

1 Month Ago

Anyway, what does religion or politics have to do with toxicity ha ha ha ha ha ha...

 

Lisa Kaiser

1 Month Ago

Peggy, LOL, point taken.

 

Drew

1 Month Ago

And then there is the shaman.

 

Afterthought Studio

1 Month Ago

I read through the thread, but I can't say that I understand what "toxic people" means. it's part of a slang language I hear on TV, in the movies, and in books, which treats family members and other people as enemies. I stopped watching TV and stopped consuming any kind of mainstream culture, for if there are toxic people to be found in our society, they surely must be the ones controlling cultural outlets and mainstreaming family and other societal discord. So, that's what I, personally, have found to be the best detox -- unplugging from MSM, movies, books and TV. Some of the people in your life you consider toxic might have learned how to be irritating, judgmental, nosy, or what have you not from the daily sitcom, soup opera or news channel they watch. Don't consider them toxic. Consider them intoxicated.

 

Lisa Kaiser

1 Month Ago

Afterthought Studio, I hope you aren't the toxic person in your family. Of course, if you are, that's okay. I love the toxic people in my family and I'm sure I have been a toxin as well.

Drew defined it for me best when he wrote about people taking advantage of you when you have empathy. Just because I care does not mean I have the time, or energy and bags of money for another's agenda.

I would also state that I don't watch any TV so politics is most certainly not on my mind. I do know, however, it is extremelly toxic because every time people talk on politics or religion, they are usually offensive to an opposing view and people like being rude when they feel superior.


 

Maciej Mackiewicz

1 Month Ago

How do I react on toxic people. I deal with them through magic, numerology and art. It is hard struggle. Once I had toxic boss and toxic work. Even shaking hands with my boss was toxic. The problem was it was a great paid job and good for learning. That's why instead of quiting I developed a system of believes basing on numerology and astrology. I started even believe that my boss is a devil and I am a warrior of truth. I used to make tv animated commercials in this work. My boss was extremely gifted animation specialist. But also very shy and powerful. We were fighting through our art and skill. I was learning new skills from him, he was younger than me and liked to give me "speech" which gave me feelings like I used to deal with my father. So my problem was I had toxic master, a mentor I admired and hated him at the same time. My reaction for this toxine was psychosis in eyes of modern medicine, schizophrenia. In my opinion our world is schizophrenic, divided, and very toxic. to remain healthy I had to get rid of my sanity, give up my innosence and divide myself into pieces, a colors, numbers, gods and visions. My advice is be yourself, be strong, try to understand world, if you have to fight for your right to sanity do it your own way.

 

Lisa Kaiser

1 Month Ago

Maciej, I think you are bringing up some interesting points. It becomes hard to fight someone who has power so a darker magic might be the trick to having or believing in your own powerful abilities. It could be called vengeful creative visualization.

We mostly use creative visualization, and meditation for positive and for self help, but if it works for positive possibilities, it has to work for the negative as well.

I would advise not to do this because I believe that we can attract chaos, illness, negative and toxic energy to ourselves without even realizing the damage we've done, but all of this is complete speculation.

How many people in this world are completely selfish, decadent and careless without any ramifications? Too many to count in my opinion. I would rather stay positive, rational and caring to the best of my ability while staying far away from the toxin or toxic people.




 

Jani Freimann

1 Month Ago

Toxic people are tough to deal with when they are in your own family.
This is what I did recently and was able to reclaim my joy and my peace almost instantly.
I gave myself permission to release them. I don't have to obey them or do anything they say to show respect. I also put up boundaries. No longer are they allowed to steal my joy and my peace. If it means that I never see them again, then so be it.
If you are working with toxic people, that can be tougher in some ways because you can't just up and walk away as it is part of your job, but you can still put up boundaries. Toxic people are very insecure. Most will respect your boundaries because you will be "scary" to them. Start with them on the very first day. Give no leway and avoid them as much as possible.

 

Lisa Kaiser

1 Month Ago

Jani, that is beautiful, thank you.

I am going into my work day with this.

 

This discussion is closed.

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