Make Me Laugh

Cosmo (sung by Donald O'Connor):

Though the world is so full of a number things,
I know we should all be as happy as
But are we?
No, definitely no, positively no.
Decidedly no. Mm mm.
Short people have long faces and
Long people have short faces.
Big people have little humor
And little people have no humor at all!
And in the words of that immortal buddy
Samuel J. Snodgrass, as he was about to be lead
To the guillotine:
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?
(Ha ha!)
My dad said "Be an actor, my son
But be a comical one
They'll be standing in lines
For those old honky tonk monkeyshines"
Now you could study Shakespeare and be quite elite
And you can charm the critics and have nothin' to eat
Just slip on a banana peel
The world's at your feet
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em...
Make 'em laugh
Don't you know everyone wants to laugh
My grandpa said go out and tell 'em a joke
But give it plenty of hoke
Make 'em roar
Make 'em scream
Take a fall
Run a wall
Split a seam
You start off by pretending
You're a dancer with grace
You wiggle till they're
Giggling all over the place
And then you get a great big custard pie in the face
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Don't you know... all the... wants...
My dad...
They'll be standing in lines
For those old honky tonk monkeyshines
Make 'em laugh
Make 'em laugh
Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha
Make 'em laugh, ah ah!
Make 'em laugh, ah ah!
Make 'em laugh, ah ah!
Make 'em laugh!
Make 'em laugh!
Make 'em laugh!

"Make 'Em Laugh" ~ Singin' in the Rain (1952)
https://youtu.be/SND3v0i9uhE

Actually a quote from baseball great, Yogi Berra, I believe, :

“When you come to a fork in the road….take it.”

Rodney Dangerfield – I get no respect:

I was 8 years old – on my first airline flight with my parents.

We were traveling over the ocean.

My mother put my hat on and said “Go outside and play”

Have you heard the one about the corduroy pillow?
It's making headlines.

What's the opposite of irony?

Wrinkly.

Ripping this off from an Instagram Reel.

My wife asked me, "Have you seen the dog bowl?"
I told her, "No, I never knew he could."

A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere!

As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden.
The plot thickens...

I bought art on fine art america :)

Bread to the dough;

Don’t mind the baker. He’s just trying to get a rise out of you.

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?

Phillipe Phillope

ARTIST: I'd like your opinion on my painting.

CRITIC: It's worthless.

ARTIST: I know, but I'd like it anyway.

Dog owner: "The neighbors tell me you've been chasing people on bicycles!"

Dog: "They're lying, I don't even have a bicycle!"

Maybe an image can make you laugh - as this horse was laughing at me for taking his picture. :)

Spelling is hard... a couple of letters get messed up and your whole sentence is urined....

I'm thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it's only holding me back.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day , but I couldn't find any.

I got a booster shot recently because the doctor told me my laugh was contagious.

Hee Haw!

Why do doctors whack newborns on the bottom?

To knock the weenies off the smart ones! 0:)

Firstly, thank you all for making me smile this evening!

I must admit I do also like the occasional geek joke. Such as...

- There are 10 types of people in this world,
- Those that understand binary, and those that don't.

That joke’s a “10”!

Why don't they play poker in the jungle??

There are too many cheetahs.

Richard, please brush your horses teeth.
I have a toilet brush I can loan you.

Today I gave my dead batteries away. They were free of charge.

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

He couldn’t budget.

How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?

They got up and ransomware.

Of course May is called May.

It may rain, it may be sunny, it may be hot, it may be cold.

What did the strawberry say to the other strawberry?

How did we get into this jam?

Why do people on the ISS use Linux?

Because you can’t open windows in outer space.

I told my wife we ran out of food and I had to steal from the neighbor's herb garden.

She said you're living on borrowed thyme.

Genie: I shall grant you 3 wishes.

Me: I wish for a world without lawyers.

Genie: Done, you have no more wishes.

Me: But you said 3.

Genie: So sue me.

Someone stole my broken calculator, but I don’t know why.

It just doesn’t add up.

Jack: How's it going?

Beans: Pretty well, and you?

Jack and the beans talk.

My doctor told me I’m at risk of heart disease because I eat too much sodium.

I took his advice with a grain of salt.

Which lawn decorations move around from yard to yard?

Gnomads

What did the librarian say when a penguin gave her a bookmarker?

That’s one for the books!

Did you know that T-shirt is actually an abbreviated version of Tyrannosaurus shirt?

Because of the short arms.

I misplaced Dwayne Johnson's cutting tool for the origami workshop.

I can’t believe I lost the Rock’s paper scissors.

A man went to the doctor and said, "I keep singing Delilah."
Doc says, "It's Tom Jones Syndrome."
The man asked, "Is it common?"
Doc answers, "It's not unusual."

I got arrested today for walking out of an art museum with a painting.

I’m just so confused because earlier when I asked security if I could take a picture they said “yes”.

SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus.

What you may not know is that TUBA is also an acronym.

For Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus.

I was walking through town the other day when I saw someone pickpocket a dwarf.

I don’t know how anyone could stoop so low.

I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience applauded when the chef made a meringue.

I was surprised. Usually Australians boo meringue.

What did the evil chicken lay?

Devilled eggs.

What do you call a bunch of mixed up great apes?

An Orangutangle.

Some guy knocked on my door today and said he had a parcel for my next-door neighbor.

I said you’ve got the wrong house then.

I made some fish tacos last night.

But they just ignored them and swam away.

My friend’s bakery caught fire and burned to the ground last night.

Now his business is toast.

I was named after my Dad.

Because I couldn’t possibly have been named before him.

Here is some good encouragement and empowerment to students.

Sue, this is not an image drop. Please remove.