Saint Aunt Jemima's Image on a Pancake Artist's Recreation

THE PROPHESIES OF SAINT AUNT JEMIMA... more

by Jim Williams

Title

Saint Aunt Jemima's Image on a Pancake Artist's Recreation

Artist

Jim Williams

Medium

Photograph - Short Story

Description

THE PROPHESIES OF SAINT AUNT JEMIMA

An earlier post mentioned The Little Sisters of Saint Aunt Jemima, who are promotin Saint Aunt Jemima's prophesies of peace, love n flapjacks. Most folks outside the Romin Cathlic church don't know about her except for the more secular activities attributed to her. But she played an important part in celebratin Sweet Baby Jesus' birth. Most folks know about the three wise guys (sometimes know as the three godfathers) who brought frankincense, myrrh, and gold to give to Sweet Baby Jesus. Most of us don't know what frankincense and myrrh are. Thanks to the US Drug Enforcement Agency they are now designated Schedule 1 narcotics. Those of us who survived the 1960s know that gold meant Acapulco Gold. (From Mexico, where Sweet Baby Jesus is called "Hey! Sue!" after a song sung by Johnny Cash.) That's right, the three wise guys brought dope to what was supposed to Mary's postpartum covered dish party. Everybody was waitin for em and when they finally got there the party really took off.

But few folks know that the Blessed Saint Aunt Jemima was there too. After everyone had a few hits of frankincense, myrrh an Acapulco Gold an had a whoppin case of munchies, Saint Aunt Jemima brought out the griddle cake mix. She got eggs fum the hens in the barn an milk fum a camel, but there wasn't nowhere to plug in the electric cookin element. (Tweedle-Dum forgot to create electrical outlets in HIS haste to stay on schedule an finish up creation in six days. Contractors always seem to miss some important features. GeeHaw also forgot to create power companies, so the outlets woulda been superfluous anyway.)

Then The First Miracle of Saint Aunt Jemina occurred. While lookin for an outlet, the only flat surface to put the griddle on was the manger holdin Sweet Baby Jesus so she laid it over Him. When she went to pick it back up, Sweet Baby Jesus had started glowin hot, heated up the griddle an she burnt her hand.

The first miracle was quickly followed by the second: The Prophecies of Saint Aunt JemimaŠ. She put her hand to SBJ's left ear and pulled her prophesies out of it (along with a quarter). Everybody in the barn was mystified because nobody saw her put em in SBJ's ear!

Then came the Third Miracle of Saint Aunt Jemima. Although she had mix for only one large pancake, she broke it into a buncha pieces and with it she fed the assembled multitudes of worshipers an animals in the barn. SBJ musta been payin attention cause He repeated the miracle later on with loaves and fishes. What actually happened in both miracles was that after feedin was initiated, everyone else got out their covered dishes an set up a buffet line.

But the single flapjack also held another miracle: The Holy Image of Saint Aunt Jemima on a PancakeŠ. Yep, Jemima had her picture on pastry centuries before Jesus and Mary imprinted themselves on food like substances. (Since it was eaten, we only have an artist's interpretation which we'll also post along with her Prophecies.)

All this made The Mayor an Bishop Bigga-Butz hungry, so they retired to the cafeteria where Father Fuller B. Heines fixed em waffles which turned into Jesus as they ate em.

See the ongoing story in my Short Story gallery:
http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/wacks-museum.html?tab=artworkgalleries&artworkgalleryid=536130

Uploaded

June 2nd, 2014